Be available for the long run. It’s important to understand that one never “gets over” the death of a very significant person. The first year is very difficult. During that time the grieving person must experience all the “firsts” — the first birthday, the first wedding anniversary, the first Mother’s or Father’s Day, the first holidays. Be aware during those days. Remember them with a card, a phone call or a visit.

A misconception we have is that the more time that has passed since the death, the better the person will be. The reality is that it often becomes more difficult as time passes. Doug Manning, a Bereavement Counselor, offers us the 3 H’s: Hush up, Hang around, and Hug. The greatest gift you can offer your friend is to mention the person who has died, share a memory about the person, and let your friend talk about their loved one.

Simply be there. Although you may feel helpless, your presence and support are tremendously helpful and healing.